A Garden of Delights

The Process of Self-(re)Discovery

Posted on: April 25, 2011

My son is home sick today… another night for me of getting up several times to check on him, to soothe tears, and then the (far more annoying) inevitable waking because I didn’t want miss some catastrophe because I’d finally fallen asleep deeply enough to feel rested in the morning.  The end result is that I feel tired and headachey  (disrupted sleep patterns were recognized as one of the two major causes of my migraines; the other was not eating something on a regular schedule).  My son feels pretty good however.

I just lost a whole paragraph of typing because of a weird keyboard/key-shift combo and being distracted.  I wonder sometimes when I think about all the changes we’ve made in writing: computers as opposed to typewriters or a simple pen and paper combo.  While it could be annoying to have a page covered in correction fluid or the ubiquitous single-line, at least nothing was lost until the writer actually left his or her work.  Now we can lose anything with a simple mistaken keystroke.

Hmm, that sounds far more self-pitying than I meant it to be.  I wasn’t that upset, just intrigued at how tenuous we have made our lives.  And since I write stories that involve races with extremely varied lifespans, the way that societies interact with their impending futures has always interested me.  For example, I wonder sometimes if our changes in architecture, from grand temples and funerary sites of older (some say more religious and spiritual) times to the cookie-cutter wood-framed edifices and the bland brick block office parks (easily made, easily broken down) of today, might suggest an awareness on our parts that we have no sense of permanence anymore.  (I have noticed that cultures that hold less of a “death to eternal life in Heaven/Hell” perspective and more of “rebirth into another form” one also tend to be the ones that use materials such as wood, grass, bamboo, even mud, over stone or concrete.)

I sense society is in flux.

It makes perfect sense to me.  I’m always in flux, living my days in between one distraction and another.  Today it was once again starting this blog.  Back when I started it, I wasn’t sure what I really wanted it for (and even when I thought I knew, it didn’t stay on course due to tangents).  To a point, I still don’t know.  I know that I cannot blog daily.  It’s not my thing.  Every week is the course I’m going to try, though more as one week I’ll post here, then on the next week I’ll post on my alternate page Many Worlds Made by Many Minds and then back again to here.  Hopefully that will be comfortable enough to allow me to find my pace…and wite something I feel is really worth sharing with the world.

On that note, I leave you with a song my son’s playing this morning put into my head:  BusyBusyBusy by Sandra Boynton  It isn’t exactly a description of my life (though it does seem like it sometimes), but there are those days….  And the frantic combination of the lyrics and music in this song certainly can give rise to feelings of being busier than one truly is.


1 Response to "The Process of Self-(re)Discovery"

It seems rather (?)serendipitous that a day after posting this, I would see this link from Writer Beware on Facebook:

At the moment, I don’t know how I feel.

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