A Garden of Delights

Best of the Spam Folder

Posted on: March 29, 2012

“Audacity, more audacity and always audacity.” by Georges Jacques Danton

If you’re online, you get spam some way, some how.  From proclamations of  wealth overseas to titillating your lover better than any other man (which always struck me as funny, for obvious reasons), most spam is a horrible waste of time and mental energy.  And of course, the dangers of falling for the spammers’ tricks could fill several blog pages…

But did you know that spam could be fun?  Or empowering?

Well, it can at least be somewhat fun.

Of my two blogs, this one seems to be the haven of spammers.  I get almost none on Many Worlds, and the rare message I get seldom comes with anything to recommend it for anything more than the “Delete Permanently” button.  But here I find those rare pieces that make me smile.  Whether their creators are simply better at making selections in their text randomizers, or because they’ve actually put some thought into trying to attract traffic to their websites, these pieces of blog “junk mail” deserve at least  moment’s acknowledgement before being sent to dev/null for eternity.

Good Spam (imho) comes in three main variations:

Comfort Spam

This stuff is the Kraft Macaroni & Cheese of your comment folder.  Mostly harmless, this kind of spam even has some substance to it.  Reading it gives you a warm, some-what over-full sensation after a serving or two.  Defining feature?  The inclusion of an inspirational quote from some famous person:

  •  from play free slots games: I like this website very much, Its a really nice position to read and obtain information. “Wisdom denotes the pursuing of the best ends by the best means.” by Francis Hutcheson.
  • from winrar mac: I conceive this internet site contains some very excellent information for everyone 😀 . “The test of every religious, political, or educational system is the man that it forms.” by Henri Frdric Amiel.
  • from Free Live sex: I truly enjoy reading on this internet site, it has superb content. “One should die proudly when it is no longer possible to live proudly.” by Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche.
  • from music publishing license: Real superb info can be found on web blog . “It is fast approaching the point where I don’t want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job.” by Erma Bombeck.
  • and one more (there are, of course, several others) from mesothelioma claims: Its superb as your other articles : D, appreciate it for posting . “Reason is the substance of the universe. The design of the world is absolutely rational.” by Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.

Sweet-tooth spam

This stuff is like eating Pixie Stix or that Fun Dip candy.  Mostly useless calories, takes up space, a little doesn’t hurt, but it can rot the stronger parts of your writing soul if you take in too much of it.  Defining feature?  Bland platitudes that make it clear that no one even read the post it is commenting on:

  • from preschool backpacks: Just desire to say your article is as amazing. The clarity in your put up is simply spectacular and i could suppose you’re an expert in this subject. Fine together with your permission let me to snatch your RSS feed to keep updated with approaching post. Thanks 1,000,000 and please carry on the gratifying work.
  • from Scrapebox: Thanks for sharing excellent informations. Your web site is so cool. I am impressed by the details that you have on this blog. It reveals how nicely you perceive this subject. Bookmarked this web page, will come back for extra articles. You, my pal, ROCK! I found just the info I already searched all over the place and just couldn’t come across. What an ideal site.
  • from learn piano keys: Woah! I’m really enjoying the template/theme of this blog. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s challenging to get that “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual appearance. I must say that you’ve done a excellent job with this. In addition, the blog loads very quick for me on Chrome. Superb Blog!
  • from Carmen Kabacinski: I must show thanks to you for rescuing me from this particular trouble. Right after looking through the world-wide-web and getting views that were not pleasant, I believed my entire life was done. Being alive without the presence of answers to the problems you have sorted out by means of your good write-up is a critical case, and the ones which could have negatively affected my entire career if I had not encountered your web page. Your own training and kindness in playing with all the details was crucial. I am not sure what I would’ve done if I hadn’t come upon such a step like this. I can at this time relish my future. Thanks very much for the professional and effective help. I won’t hesitate to refer your web blog to anyone who will need guidelines about this issue.

What is it? spam

Now we get into the spam that is the blog equivalent of a Vienna sausage (a generic version that lists far scarier ingredients than the average Hormel cans).  It looks wholesome, but clearly the ingredients have been mulched together so much that you can’t tell what any single one might have been.  Defining characteristic?  There is something that looks like it should be a sentence, but you can’t figure out where:

  • From Buy scrapebox list: Great day, it’s it will likely be absent from study even so any kind of, i have been previously surfing within your websites and seeks clearly in fact organized. I’m just building a special internet page and thus under pressure to get it appear excellent, whenever my partner function on element my spouse and i screw it up. By what method actually tough provides the actual to develop your website? Could possibly some criminal considerably like me without any subsequent have accomplish it, as properly offer family renovation pages of content material devoid of having destroying it once more all the time?
  • from poussette pas cher: I feel that is among the such a lot significant info for me. And i’m satisfied studying your article. However want to remark on some common things, The web site taste is great, the articles is actually nice 😀 . Just right process, cheers.
  • from Major Buffey: I beloved as much as you’ll receive carried out right here. The sketch is tasteful, your authored subject matter stylish. however, you command get bought an shakiness over that you want be turning in the following. in poor health definitely come more earlier again since precisely the similar nearly very incessantly inside case you protect this hike.

Bad Writer spam

Yes, I know I said there were three kinds, but this category stands out by itself.  This “negative attention” spam is the blogger’s equivalent of getting pushed on the F Train during rush hour in NYC.  Rude enough to catch your attention, but essentially meaningless.

  • from http://www.forerunner305.fr/: Hello, you used to write wonderful, but the last several posts have been kinda boring… I miss your super writings. Past few posts are just a little out of track! come on!”To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.” by Sren Aaby Kierkegaard.
  • (include anything that tells you about your low Google Rank in here)

So, how about you?  Have you been amused by your spam folder lately?  Maybe you’ve gotten similar (or even identical) posts to these?  If so, what are your favorites?

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13 Responses to "Best of the Spam Folder"

“I’m very completely happy that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for one thing relating to this” in response to my Comment Choice post. So glad he/she managed to stumble through safely, it seems.

Loved this post, Eden! So far, my all-time favorite is “You might be a wonderful Doodlekit.” Oh, the possibilities!

Thanks for the laughs!
Karen

You are most welcome. 😀

Damn – I feel bad now – I rarely get any of those.

Do you have a way to moderate comments, Mike? This is all the stuff that Askimet sorts out on the main comment queue in WordPress, but instead of having things automatically deleted (I’ve had real comments accidentally get sent there because of overzealous word checking), I allow it to build up and then delete it later.

You need a WordPress blog, Mike. That’s the ticket. 😉

Sys-

One brain,.again!

As I read through the last batch, I thought of making a post out of it……I just had too many things already in the works….

So glad you did it that I will send you my favorite of the 14 in my spam folder now, when I grow through them! =)

I love these. =D

The great thing about this kind of post (and the sad thing) is that you’ll always have new spam to work with. So maybe next month you can put on your special spam recognition regalia and make a post then. After all, memes only last just so long… got to create new ones every day.

This web page is usually a walk-through its the information you desired concerning this and didn’t know who ought to. Take some time to locate! and you’ll definitely discover it.

This is such a great post.. I never even thought to post the crazy spam comments I get..

Sometimes I approve them just because they are so damn funny.

They can be hilarious, but I’ve never considered just approving them… Love how we all appreciate these things at times, but handle them so differently.

Thanks for stopping over, Darlene. Beware the walking Dead. 😉

Sometimes when I get comments that look like spam (choppy sentences, etc) I’m never sure if it’s spam or someone who is not very fluent in English… :/

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt too, but usually the address and URL the comment came from is enough of a giveaway.

Thanks for introducing this writer!

Also, I nominated you for an award today!!! Come check it out here:
http://whosyoureditor.blogspot.com/2012/04/awards-on-monday.html
If you don’t do awards that’s ok. I just wanted to pick some new people and let you know!

Aubrie

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