A Garden of Delights

Putting Up

Posted on: May 29, 2015

I don’t want to make today’s blog post into a diatribe, but  I have so many opinions that I usually don’t want to share with the world…  Would the world accept them?  Does the world care?  Who am I to have an opinion on things I only know third-hand through the biases of social media and my oddly-sheltered childhood?

Thing is, I have opinions, and I have a place to express them.  I want to express them.

Doesn’t mean I should…

To express my opinion on most of these things means the first; it means I have to do something beyond saying “I agree/disagree” with something.  At the very least, I need to express why, and sometimes I don’t know exactly why—I just know I feel the way I feel.  More research needed…  and yet, it’s not right of me to be a social voyeur (at least not anymore than I already am with my writer’s people-watching addiction) as in the most recent brouhaha over the ATI families, TLC and the molestations.

Does my researching and exploring the situation make it better?  Or am I adding yet one more layer of schadenfreude to the situation?

Equal Right Amendment Map (Wikipedia)

Equal Right Amendment Map (Wikipedia)

If I want to go a step further, I can ask people to act on something I believe in such as this link for a petition on MoveOn.org about trying to get the Equal Rights Amendment passed.  Put up, or shut up…  I can speak out, let the world know how I feel and ask them to act with me.

If I don’t, then clearly I am comfortable enough with the way things are, with the way things might go (even if they get worse).  I’m content with “putting up” with it for a long time too.

Please sign, btw.  True Equal Rights will go a long way to preventing things like the above mentioned situation.


My personal “putting up” involves something far less dramatic or grand scale.  That said, it does affect my life greatly.

Lately I’ve had problems with my part-time teaching position at my son’s school.  The class I am teaching now is nothing like the class I signed up to teach (1st year French).  Now, I have students self-studying, with guidance, seven different languages.  I’m trying to inspire them to learn the language they chose because they chose it, and because they have a reason to learn it.  Three children put in consistent effort because they want to learn their language….  three students out of twelve.  The rest..  well, they say this is what they want to do, but they don’t do it.

William Blake's watercolor "Age Teaching Youth"

“Age Teaching Youth” by William Blake; a completely idealized impression of mentoring (Wikipedia)

I’m not quite sure where to go next.  I’ve already made it clear that there are no grades in the class; that the learning is for them; that  am available to talk with about trouble they might be having, etc. and as a dialogue partner and/or mentor; and…

I have three students who have shown me they have an interest.

As I had originally thought I was going to be teaching French as an elective class, … three dedicated students might actually be a good thing.

But, today is the second to last class of the year.  The final project needed to be handed off to another class for artwork…  last week.  Do I ask my students who haven’t put in any effort to “put up or shut up” for a weekend rush?  Is it fair to ask the rest of the children to put up with their class time being disrupted constantly by the disruptions and goofing off of those that aren’t doing their work.  (To me, the answer  to the last question is obviously “no”, but both the kids and I are in pretty untenable positions; the kids don’t want to be there, and I am trying to make everyone happy, when it’s clear that no one is.)

But…  for now, I am putting up with it.  The year is almost over.  I know a lot more about what I am willing to put up with, and…  what I have put up before I have no choice but to shut up.

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2 Responses to "Putting Up"

Good post. As I grow older, I’m more willing to pick my battles. I used to want to take on every injustice I came across. It’s hard to accept that sometimes we do just have to settle for it is what it is.

I hope next year is better (language class) 🙂

You’re so right, Teresa. Part of growing up I think is learning how to pick one’s battles to the benefit of all, not just one’s self.

I don’t know what is happening next year for language class. It seems like everything is changing daily at the school. I don’t know half the time if it’ll even be there. But thank you.

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