A Garden of Delights

Posts Tagged ‘observations

2019 was a crazy year.

I’m not complaining.  Crazy has it’s good points, especially when one is trying to understand her capabilities.  In the past few years I’ve learned more about myself and what I can do (and what I can’t), as well as what most inspires me to push myself to greater heights.

One of the things I didn’t learn was how to merge a busy life with my passions, nor how to add a necessary job search without pummeling myself with my social anxiety.  So…  when I had to get things set up for the ROW80 folks, I thought, maybe I should use that challenge to get back to myself while keeping hold of my new capability.

Now, the ROW80 tends to be about goal setting and accountability.  The last thing I wanted to do was set myself up for failure (and I’ve dropped out of too many ROWs in the past to say “oh, that can’t happen to me”).  But so many things are still in flux these days….  I realize I cannot commit to goals the ROW80 S.M.A.R.T. way, certainly not for a whole Round of Words.

So I’m doing my Round 1 a bit different.  I’m setting weekly goals and once a week check-ins (as opposed to the ROW80 standard of twice weekly).  This past year I found blogging (which I need to do as the challenge’s webmaven) more of a creative energy drain than ever, and then adding in check-ins and being “social” on social media…

I couldn’t do it.

But I want to try again.  I’m in a different place now, both in having completed a move and having reassessed my priorities (and years of accumulated “stuff” in the packing and unpacking stages).

So here goes…

Week 1 of ROW80 Round 1 2020

  • I will head to a local temp agency and apply for part time work
  • I will do two paragraphs a day of writing: two days of creative exploration and three of journaling or exploration
  • I will finish one of my “in progress” books.
  • I will update the ROW80 blog on time for both the Round beginning (tomorrow) and the two check-ins

That’s all for the moment.  It’s enough, I think.  Progress is made in the continued small successes.

Just a drawing of a mouse, under a mushroom

What did Burns say about the best laid plans of mice and men?

Nah, doesn’t quite apply…  Truth is, I wasn’t as ready for this Round of Words in 80 Days as I’d hoped I would be when it started last Monday.   I had a vague direction in mind, and some things I wanted to achieve, but really…  I only knew what my “one goal” was:

To live a creative, interested and inspired life full of friends, loved ones, and shared passions

The rest was pretty much up in the air.  And some of it still is. Some wise fellow RoWers reminded me that I don’t need to plan my whole year in advance, and that even if I do have a plan, plans can (and should) change to suit what I need to achieve that one main goal.

So, here is my revised set of goals…  most are the same as I posted last week.  The changes are in pink or struck out.

Writing

The ROW80 is a writing challenge, so… I will:

  • continue to write, explore and develop the Fanqtia-verse (the conglomeration of worlds and histories that envelop the stories I write)
  • finish a the first draft of one book in the Swan Song Series (yea…ah, I haven’t actually decided which one yet, but I have narrowed the choice down to two: Courting or Singer)
    I realized that with the upcoming move, this was too ambitious. I will simply work on these stories as I can, at least one day a week
  • blog WIPpet Wednesday posts
  • bi-weekly check-in posts to the ROW80 blog

Blogging/Social Media

  • visit and comment on the blogs of fellow ROWers once a week
  • participate in activities or discussions once a week on FB, Twitter or some social outlet
  • have the ROW80 website fully updated for 2019 by the close of Round 1

Heart and Hearth

Where the living really happens…

  • finish packing for our move in March
  • daily “us time” with hubby and kidlet
  • make time to connect with distant family at least once a month
  • daily physical activity wherever I am and a once-a-week workout at the gym

Developed Inspirations

  • weekly art — I’d originally thought to work on a drawing a day, but the truth is, doing this I’ve created a bunch of unfinished pieces that I’m not happy with; this way exploring details and techniques will be easier to do, and I should be able to finish a few. I may even continue working on a piece longer than a week, focusing on a new section, if it is a larger piece. I revised this to include other forms of artistic expression including “adult coloring” (Mom gave me six books for my birthday); the goal as always been artistic exploration, after all.
  • photography — go through my accumulated photos, edit and post a few online (various places)
  • MOOCS and other classes — one per round (this round’s goal is to finish my class on Life and Times of Richard the III)
  • read at least one fiction and one non-fiction book a month

I think this combination will allow me a fair amount of time for growth and exploration while allowing time for the extras that not only make life worth living, but those extras that aren’t exactly asked for.

For check-ins, I’ll post a note in my Wednesday WIPpet post with a link here saying whether I made progress or not, only noting details if they involve a completed goal or a change of focus. For the Sunday check-ins, I’ll be commenting on the ROW80 blog.

And since it is check-in time, how did I do this week in general?  Pretty good, I’d say.  No new drawing, but I did color and explore some new photo-editing techniques in Photoshop.  I need to log back in and refresh myself on my Richard the III class.  The rest…  making strides.

A whole month of 2018 down and once again it is time for

Another

2018 ROW80 Check-in IWSG WWW Wednesday Post

Post

(click below an image to go to the specific section you want if you don’t want to read the whole post)

As one of my ROW80 goals was to blog more consistently and as I want to become more active in the IWSG (Insecure Writers Support Group) and as I am reading (a lot of late) and wish to share my pleasure… this trio of hops has become a “thing”.

First things last and last things first, WWW Wednesday: where, according to the rules of the bloghop, I need to answer three main questions:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Currently? I am still plowing slowly through Cathedrals of England by Sir Nicholas Pevsner (a very information dense book, and as we’re going to England again this fall, also personal research).  In Like Flynn is the Molly Murphy mystery du jour, though I find the intrusive authorial voice very distracting…  (the books are set in 1st person POV, but Molly’s voice floats between her present and past, and often she knows things I cannot imagine her knowing…  and sometimes she doesn’t know things that seem quite impossible for her to not know!)  The historical detail is nice, but Bowen doesn’t hold as much to the history of the times, or at least I don’t feel as immersed in the period as much as I do with Thompson’s Gaslight series.  (The first book of the series was delightful, however!)

Recently? I have finished all but the last of the Gaslight Mysteries (so far…), as our local library system doesn’t have the newest book yet.  That’s okay.  Plenty of other reading to do.  I also finished my ARC of To Woo a Wicked Widow and posted my review to Goodreads.

Next? I still have plenty of Molly Murphys to go through, and a handful of other reads.  This past week wasn’t the binge session I’d planned.  It’s good I can renew the books.  A bunch are due today, and we’re nearly snowed in already.


Secondly, we have the Insecure Writers Support Group where writers share their doubts and concerns and just express how things may/may not be going in their writing careers. Optionally, there is a question we can answer, which presently fits a lot of my recent doubts and fears:

February 7 question – What do you love about the genre you write in most often?

Hmmm,  need some background for this, I think, as much because it’s not something I’d considered before.  I used to think I wanted to write science fiction, stories that would make readers think and question the way we are moving in society and political thinking.  The magic of fantasy however, with its touches of childhood fairy tales and themes of history and grand epics, fast out-paced my desire to “teach” the world anything.  The story was what mattered to me…  it was the bit that held me in my play as a child and drew me to explore new places (and look at old ones in a new light).

But writing fantasy, at least for me, always fell short somehow.  As my characters became more real, they stopped being the mythical heroes of yore, stopped becoming archetypes in a bardic yarn.  And they didn’t fit…  the setting might still be fantasy, the situations are often fantastic, but they were much more about people living in this world I saw in my head.  People who lived emotional, full and often romantic lives.  And the happiness in those romantic moments constantly drew me (as well as the conflicts that often revolved around those romantic moments). It seemed pretty obvious once one of my local writing group friends pointed out the elements, that I was already writing romances…  just romances in a fantasy-based world.

So…  the genre is fantasy romance, stories built on a world of magic (and some machinery, though that’s not always apparent) of grand wars, political upheavals, and brave-hearted people (I wouldn’t call them heroes, since they wouldn’t call themselves that either) who are just trying to find some joy in the midst of the upheaval and do the right thing for those they love and care about.

I love how convoluted that can get.  Even when we think we’re all on the same side…  how we achieve a goal (and how we want to achieve it) is usually not the same as the people we are working with.

As for hopes and fears….

Well, I hope now that I’m feeling this reading binge coming to a close, that I will soon find myself filling pages with all the ideas that I’ve tossed about.  Better the page than my dreams…  because I haven’t been sleeping well.  My characters have been talking up storms (nothing they’ve told me to write yet, drat them!) these past few nights.  It’s time for the bunch of us to start earning our tea and biscuits.


And lastly, but not least, here is the ROW80 check-in (which has been somewhat answered by the prior two sections). For those who didn’t see my goals for the upcoming 12-weeks of ROWing, you can see them here. And you can find our very supportive and helpful group here, if you want to know more about the ROW80 in general.

I haven’t been writing much at all.  There have been space issues and then there was being sick and there was the reading obsession…  None of these helped my head to be all that creative when it came to output.  But I did keep up with my blogging, and I have found sparks of inspiration and feeling a need to jot ideas down here and there.  More sense of setting and place…  my characters are stubbornly turning aside and whispering when they think I might be listening in on their conversations.  Maybe they don’t want to talk with the characters from the books I’ve read?

As far as sponsor posts and visits, I’m keeping up…  though I really do need to get on the ball and start changing the ROW80 website.  I’d hoped to get together this week with Shan Jeniah to talk design and layout a bit.  The weather isn’t cooperating at the moment however, and with a very whuffly Boodle home from school today, I don’t know if it’ll happen all week.

One of these days!  Until then…  time to read some more people’s works and see what comes to me when I set a pen to paper (well, stylus to phone).  750 words… today

Here I was, all excited about starting up my First Friday Photo bloghop, and what would you know…  the cray-cray and brain drain made me forget to post my link on time!

Well, here it is anyway…

This past Wednesday was a very special sort of full moon.  In two ways…  (Three if you were closer to California, but sadly we weren’t.)

  1. It was a Blue Moon, what they call it when there is a second full moon in a month’s time
  2. It was a Blood Moon (when atmospheric conditions give the full moon has a reddish tinge)
  3. …  it was a partial lunar eclipse

None of these are all that unusual, but they do make for a lovely effect.  I do wish our weather here in Upstate NY had been more agreeable, but we got snow that night, and the skies were grey and cloudy from well before nightfall set.

Still, a snapshot from the deck just before my son went to bed didn’t come out too bad….  or so I think.

Taken with my Samsung Note 5 phone

I added some extra days to the linky, because I realized I’d messed up. Hope you all would like to join the hop.

Check?

Posted on: January 16, 2018

I wasn’t going to post anything here for the ROW80, had planned to just make a brief check-in at the Facebook page.  Sometimes it’s hard to feel like I’ve accomplished anything real.  Or…  if I’ve felt any amount of excitement about things I’ve done, the fact that I was excited meant I’d already shared them somehow (such as my recent Stream of Consciousness Saturday post) or my excited FB post on Thursday about the awesome creative burst I’d had while writing my 750 words.

So…  what to write without becoming repetitive?

Well, there is the fact that I haven’t missed a day of writing at 750words.com since my Wednesday check-in.  Tr, I haven’t always achieved the full 750, but Thursday I exceeded with 803, and on no day did I achieve less than 300.  If I counted all the words I typed while blogging and visiting/commenting, I’d be well-over every day, but I don’t feel right adding those.

I’ve maintained consistency in my blogging as well.  And my reading (though that hasn’t been as fast as I’d like).  My real downfall though, is my creative writing output.

Some of this is a lack of “office”…  as in, I have a pretty nice computer and desk (and an “OK” chair), but my husband, who  works from home, now occupies the office.  He likes to listen to interviews and talk (or tv shows).  I need music…  particularly repetitive songs (usually loud) to zone out on and be with my characters.

Just a tree by a ditch

It’s not fair to ask him to leave, or even smart. He’s actually earning a paycheck with what he’s doing, while I’m struggling to connect with my characters most of the time, playing solitaire while I ponder plot points.

So…  I’m looking for that elusive creative space and working on what I can in the interim.

Another Wednesday…

Time for another…

2018 ROW80 Check-in WWW Wednesday

Post

(click below an image to go to the specific section you want if you don’t want to read the whole post)

You can see I am making serious progress on that old consistency thing…

First things last and last things first, let’s go with WWW Wednesday where, according to the rules of the bloghop, I need to answer three main questions:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Currently? I’m still slowly plowing through Gun, Germs, and Steel by Jared Diamond.  I appreciate Diamond’s intelligence, and I enjoy the actual subject matter, but…  maybe my head just isn’t in it at the moment.  Sometimes I really just want to dive into escapism and mystery, and I have a lot of that on my reading list of late.  I’m also reading Haunt Couture and Ghosts Galore by Rose Pressey.  I can’t even say why to be honest.  I read the first two books of the series and liked them “enough”, but didn’t feel I loved them.  But here I am reading #3.  It’s kind of like the Charlie Plato books, I think.  I like just-enough-to-keep-going in them.

Recently? I finished Thursdays at Eight by Debbie Macomber.  It was a revelation.  I totally understand now about how she became a bestselling author.  It’s called a romance, and it is…  but the love interest was Life Itself.  A tale of four women and life…  I really enjoyed it.  Also, I decided to surrender to my inner mule and read that second book in Margaret Chittenden’s Charlie Plato mysteries: Dean Men Don’t Dance.  It was hard to get into, but I guess the heroine, Charlie, is growing on me.  And Monday evening, I finished The Chocolate Cat Caper by JoAnna Carla, a cozy with lots of chocolate trivia interspersed between the covers.  Oh, and a very gorgeous cat named Yonkers…

Next?  It’s pretty sad.  I can repeat my last week list because I moved a bunch of new books into their places: still have the next Molly Murphy mystery Death of Riley, Dear Life by Alice Munro, and the other eight books waiting for me at the library.  Never made it there.  First the weather didn’t hold out, and then I got sick.  It’s where I’m heading as soon as this gets posted.

*Update…  there were eleven books waiting for me, two of which were 600+ page books by Caleb Carr.  Yeah…  I’ve got some reading to do.


Now as far as my ROW80 progress is going…  pretty much good stuff.  Not a lot of new fiction…  I’m actually going to have a problem writing a WIPpet Wednesday post on Many Worlds because I’ve written so little except mind-dumping into 750words.  I didn’t write there on Monday and only wrote 600 of the words yesterday, but in all, more days than not came with some words.

The words weren’t story related, but I do see places where I might eventually evolve the feelings and ideas into characters or their reactions.  My husband and I have also been having some wonderful discussions about characters in shows we like to watch and some books we’ve traded.  It’s interesting to see how his perception of an event and mine differ and how what we believe is “normal” sometimes seems way off from what the writers seem to think it should be.

I’m starting to see why I used to get critiques that said “Why would she do that?  No one would do that!”; all the while I was thinking…  I have, or that I knew someone who did.

World-building…

And that is a topic for another day.  Saturday, to be exact, since our local RWA Chapter is hosting a World Building discussion at the East Greenbush library.  Hoping I can go, but it depends..  my son is participating in Future City at his school, and the local competition is happening this Saturday morning until late afternoon.  There’s a future city idea…  a way to safely clone one’s self just long enough to be in two places at one time and not harm the clone person in the returning of the mind/memories to the original person.  I have a feeling that idea is a long time in coming.

If you could design your perfect futuristic self, what would one thing you could do then be?

It’s nearing the end of the year.  Almost the end of another Round of Words in 80Days (a writing challenge I help host), as that ends on Wednesday.

As I look both forward and back, I’m struck by the resistance I’ve developed to blogging in general.  Maybe it’s that I handle three blogs now (the ROW80, here, and my “writing blog” Many Worlds from Many Minds)…  Maybe it’s the fear that nothing I have to post is really that interesting, or the knowledge that there are so very many voices out there already, that mine just doesn’t matter.

Thing is, I love to create…  stories, art, impressions.  And just because I grew up hearing “Hush, no one needs to hear your mouth run”, doesn’t mean there is nothing worth hearing in what I have to say.  I’ve been slowly learning to accept that my voice matters and that really…  there are people who really enjoy it.

But it’s been a slow process.  Part of the problem is the simple truth that there are so many other voices out there, speaking at the same time.  It’s no one’s fault.  We all deserve to be heard, but because it gets hard to rise out of the cacophony, failure can seem so absolute… so inevitable.  And truth be told, we’re not taught in all the lessons on how to promote ourselves effectively to actually promote ourselves effectively.  Yes, being the squeaky wheel does work well for some, but despite having the nickname of Mouse (actually the Mouse that Roared) for many years, I would rather not be known for how loud I can be… or the lengths I might go to make myself heard.

At least, if I feel I need to scream aloud, I want to know that no one has gotten sick of listening.  😛

What does all this have to do with blogging?  Or my resistance to it?

Well, I realize after a few years of trying to keep up with social media, trying to be that voice of so many, calling out in the wilderness, that the frantic scrambling for my pie of internet pie just felt… wrong.  No criticism to those who do it and enjoy it.  Some people out there have amazing social skills and just rock online interaction.

I’m just not one of them.

What I am is a person who needs to have a plan in place and follow it religiously.  If I don’t follow it religiously, my inner sloth takes over and lets all the squirrels in (actually, I think she just doesn’t get to the door in time).  And best if I am doing something for someone else.  When I need to do things for myself, it’s easy to let them slide…  tomorrow is fine.  Or maybe next week, next year.

If I know someone else needs something though…  I’ll jump.  If my teachers during my school years had only made it clear to me how much they needed me to study and do my homework, instead of suggesting that it was all for me, I’d probably be on my second PhD and developing some world-changing discovery in a secret laboratory somewhere now. (Though…  would you really know if I wasn’t?)

So instead of blogging less, I suspect, I need to blog more.  Certainly more consistently…  I need to participate in the mutual exchange of comments and challenges.  Not just the ROW80, but the IWSG (Insecure Writers Support Group) and post to bloghops like the WeWriWa and WIPpet via Many Worlds.  I just need to set my schedule clearly without trying to be always “out there”.  A solitary post per month on schedule is far better than a binge of posts followed by a dearth of them, which has been my recent pattern.

Next week will be the ROW80 “goals post”, and the half-formed plan I have for the future should be more-fully developed by then, so I’ll post it then.  The consistency of the ROW80 has been very good for my creative side, even when I’m not always prompt with my posts.  I intend to make even better use of my check-ins…  though I suspect I’ll be streamlining the process in certain ways.

For this week, I’m clearing some books from my TBR list.  I just finished a bag fill of mysteries, procedurals and romances that partly tweaked my interest, partly needed to be read for writing research.  I’m slogging my way through the new opening of Courting in the Swan Song Series.  It almost feels harder because of what is at stake here…  my membership change in the RWA and a Golden Heart entry. The holidays aren’t helping…  this year is coming with its own emotional burdens, but I haven’t dealt well with this season.  Too many personal losses….

Still…  plugging away.

 

 


First Friday Photo

Something to inspire

obligatory “What I Allow”

Short Stuff

Member of The Internet Defense League

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 771 other followers